Joe Kelly

Sometimes we’re so busy trying to get though today’s crazed schedule—or preparing for tomorrow’s and the next day’s—that we forget to talk about the most important things. Especially at this time of year.

Here’s a quick and simple exercise, appropriate for Thanksgiving week, to better understand how important you and your daughter or stepdaughter are to each other.

Jot down 10 things you are grateful for as a Dad. Make sure that at least 5 of those things relate directly to your individual daughter—what you are grateful to her for…or what it is about this special person that you want to give thanks for.

Type up your list and print it out nicely so that you can present it to your daughter. Feel free to decorate it, use fancy fonts, or keep it very simple. Then, give it to her.

Invite your daughter to write down 10 things she is grateful for about being a part of the family you both belong to—and invite her to share that list with the rest of the family.

Few of us spend a lot of conscious energy thinking about gratitude, so it can take some effort and concentration to articulate the things for which we are grateful. That’s OK—like most essential things in fathering and stepfathering, what is hard is also worthwhile.

We’re very grateful that you care so much about healthy, engaged fathering. Happy Thanksgiving!